Reflection

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<- Creator of skin

Creativity


Haiii folks, I haven't been publishing much lately, every line I draw seem to go back to nothing. Which is a pity because I like to draw.

I've had more pictures in my head these days though, I can't promise anything, but at least I think my tablet is going to get way more active soon.

Life


Tired. That's been me these days, tired with no end, sleep, wake up, eat, sleep, and I seem to be immune to alarms too, may I blame the heat?
 Still though, it ruins quite a bit of my wanting to draw, when I do get an urge, it's already in the AM. Oh well, at least there's reading material... I recently started reading LoTR, and I ain't regretting it yet! ^^

I guess the point of my putting this journal up..at 2am, is because I'm wondering if anyone that bothers reading this knows any kind of solution?

I also decided ..right now, to finally have a place to gather all dreams I've had that I remember, from ever since I was like 3 years old.

Early Dreams


Age:3-4
1) I wake up in a forest, and all I know is that something or someone is chasing me, I just run, although I get lost in the giant maze of trees. The darkness would of given anyone the shivers, and the trees, as majestic and scary as they could be as the moon was shining as brightly as ever right above them, and the stars lighting up the sky aswell, but it did nothing to help me. Something was looking for me, and a ..muffled voice was speaking to me, I knew it was speaking to me, it was a male's voice, yet not, perhaps a beast? The voice was speaking in a language I did not know, kind of what you hear shamans speak in the movies.
Meanwhile I was just running, when I suddenly fell thanks to a root. But I don't hit the ground just yet, nope, I uncontrollably roll down and down and down, till I hit the ground filled with rocks, dust, and barely any plants. I lie down for a second, and then, when I open my eyes, I look up, and later I decide to stand up. Then these glowing lights fly ..or levitate around me, kind of like Unown in the..3rd pokemon movie?
The beast voice keeps talking, but I don't listen, I just see the joy from the levitating lights as I wake up.

Age: 3-4..I swear it's 3
2)!I think this one is a very VERY big reason to why I still can't swim a 100% and honestly don't like big dark things, although I may aswell like the things inside the big dark place. Like Corals, or the lights in a dark dark city. Fear of things I dont have control over? aha...

 I wake up in the sand, a sand on a beach I know very well in real, "Ringshaug Stranda". On the far left for me, there's a line of rocks, following a manmade path, usually used for getting a nice position in the sun, or to fish up crabs, or to fling yourself into deeper water a bit quicker than if you were to go from the sand.
I walked over to the rocks, and up to the manmade path and walk there, by the edge of the water. Sis come over to talk to me, and we walk toward land, when I accidently lean too much onto my now-being right, which is the side the water is on. It's as if the path became way taller, because it was suddenly metres and metres above the water, and the rocks had disappeared. And beneath me the water must have deepened too, because there was a whirlpool forming, aswell as a vicious mouth made of water, slowly rising to try and eat me, reach me...sis had shouted for mum and dad to come, and I was close to loosing any kind of grip I had to the edge...when I woke up.

Age: 3-4..?
3) Same place, I wake up by the edge, but this time there's lights everywhere, although night, so, obviously it was candlelight. And I see six people covered in black clothing, carrying a coffin, and I somehow knew that this was my dad lying in that coffin, yet I was alone there. The rest of the family were by the trees on the far left for me, probably in sorrow. Nothing else really happened, so I woke up.

7-10
4)  Similar to the first dream, it was the exact same voice, but I was in a garage, neverending one at that. My classmates(I was 6 or 7 at the time of the dream) were also there, and they were getting out, quickly, because of some life-threatening accident I don't fully remember. But I had to run back to retrieve something I had forgotten.(CURSES THAT MEMORY OF MINE)
And of course there were still teachers there, which said "No! Get out of here!" So I had to waste time getting through those, to then finally get whatever it is that I had forgotten, and then rush out again. It was a lot of stress, and by the time I reached the exit, I was exhausted, because I'd been running, and struggling to get past those grownups. (sheesh, not the easiest thing to do. According to the dream.)
But they applauded and helped me outside..but before I got to see the outside I woke up.

5) !This dream is one that have haunted me for ages, I've tried to draw it, but can't, I've tried to explain it before, and it's hard, and this time will probably be no different, no song or drawing will ever, in this lifetime, be able to perfectly mimic the dream, no words I know, no tones, nothing. I dreamt this when I was... I dunno, 2-3? maybe 4.

It was night, my parents drove me to a house, in my dream, there was no one that officially lived in it, not in a long time had a living soul been there. The house itself was quite well-taken care of, the original colour that was unable to be seen in night time would of been red, with white-framed windows, but at night it was just different shades of blue. And so was the wheat field at the right side of the house(from the people entering's view) to the right there'd be another originally white house, with a stable beneath. The entrance road is a T-cross upside down.(This place exists in real aswell, maybe not the spirit I'll be mentioning soon though.)
And in the back, there'd be a giant scary forest--that I thankfully didn't have to enter, my parents did though, and took the car with them.
Meanwhile I entered the red house(which is totally better than the humongous forest.) and then looked around, any kind of furniture was covered in white, even the tables. It was just dark, and the lights didn't work. Yet what drove me further in was plain curiosity of what else to see in here?
I enter the living room, and I see the moonlight entering through the window and onto the wall. But there was a giant...blurry figure there, a spirit of some kind, or a ghost. Apparently it couldn't or wouldn't talk, but I could feel it observing me though, as I was looking at it aswell, it was blurry in a way that it looked like dark clouds, halfway real, halfway pixelled,and constantly changing, like fire. And the presence was a man's, a royal man of some kind, a Baron perhaps? And there was something depressing about him aswell, but still, he, although I couldn't see the movement, he moved toward me, and then pointed to a window.
So I walk over. And look out of it, and then I see the white clouds slowly shaping themselves into a ship, a flying ship, similar to the one in Peter Pan, the disney movie. And then the dream go out of my view, and I see myself and the Baron both looking out of the window. And slowly a part of him was slowly becoming slightly more detailed. And a hand, similar to that of a dementor's from the Harry Potter series. Comes, and leans onto the shoulder of a slightly older me than what entered the house. Still looking out of the window, seeing the ship, as I wake up and is as young as before.

Age: 3-4..maybe earlier, I actually remember waking up better than the dream itself.

6) Thankfully not as big as the last one, nor did it leave as much an impression on me, nonetheless;

I'm on a ship with sis and my parents. And slowly we're getting closer to a port, the kind of port you often see in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, typical victorian era-ish, although the docks got some modern boats for whatever reason..IT IS A DREAM, DON'T JUDGE.
When we arrived, me and sis went off the ship, and sis seemed to know what was gonna happen, but of course I didn't. (No one tells me the most recent news, not even now when I'm soon 16 B//)
I get onto the safe wooden dock, and seconds after, the ship starts running, and sis has to hold me back as my parents just stand there, wave their hands, and say their farewells, somewhat smiling for whatever reason. Meanwhile I reached out for them and was crying...when I wake up.

And I remember waking up crying, in my mum's bed(Yes I was the kinda kid that either asked or snuck into a "safer" bed, often. I mostly snuck into me mum's bed, eventually got caught by sis though. Still snuck into bed after I was caught! )
anyway, I remember waking up crying, and the first thing I see is mum sleeping with her back to me. Although I quickly fell asleep again, and as I can remember.. pretty much dreamless sleep.

AND THIS SHALL BE ENOUGH TALES FOR NOW, IT'S 3AM OMG.
And I don't even remember many more at this exact moment that was from the.. "early rise" of my consciousness taking form and starting to remember things. I've started dreaming again like 2 years ago, and still dreaming at times. It's calmed down a little now, and seem to never appear when mum asks me the next day if I dreamt anything o.o

Edit: 6:10pm - 7:36pm , 29.7.14 | 7.29.14
Later Dreams


Let's see... where to start? This will come in no specific order.

Age: 14, 2013
1) I wake up in the living room, it's sunny outside, although I don't feel much to the temperature itself. I crawl over to where my laptop is,with screen down, and so I put up the screen, and click the power on button. Later on I'm on skype, and have random conversations as per usual... When one of my friends decide that they do not need me in their life anymore. "I don't need you anymore." "I'm way better than you, better than you'll ever be." "So please get out of my sight." And I see his symbol go from online to a question mark.
Seconds later I wake up, shaking.

Age: 15, 2014
2) As my eyes opened, I was in a corridor, a huge corridor, the walls were halfway made of wood, with wooden colour, the rest was coloured with a dark green colour and with a spider + spider web texture all over, reaching from the wood to the ceiling, which was also made of wood. And then the same texture was of course on the other side. I looked everywhere, behind me, in front of me, both sides showed that the corridor had no end to it, it eventually went dark, as if there was a black fog hiding the neverending corridor.
There were also pictures on the walls, right now I don't remember the specifics, some were very..revealing, other pictures were as simple as an apple hanging from a branch. I decided that I'd start walking, try to find an exit. Which of course, never happened, I just kept on walking, and entering doors just to end up in a corridor like the previous corridor, and it was as if the door disappeared as I stepped into the new..or same corridor. Why was it perhaps the same? It looked exactly the same as every other corridor in the dream, the exact same pictures at the exact same spot, no alteration anyway which door I'd enter. Thus, I just kept on walking till I woke up.

Age: 14, 2013
3) I was in space. Although I wasn't me. I saw through the eyes of someone else, a humanoid, but not human. The creature was still a boy, and his conscious knew his name, Confix, and had an idea of how he looked. His conscious showed me a picture, a strange coral-like beard, his skin almost looked burnt, it was also a sunrise pink. First, as a boy, like any other, he had no beard, but he was rapidly growing, as if to speed up the dream or something. And so the beard just appeared, and as he grew, his sight was getting better and clearer. (People who have seen Prometheus, or the secret rooms to X-men are allowed to picture themselves in such a place as you read.) There was white walls, glowing, white walls all over the place. Some black at the corners,and from a black edge, a young girl appeared, and spoke in a language I did not understand. Not even shaman-like as with my "early dreams", it was like ..hearing finnish without understanding it or something. She was smiling, and talking a lot, when she finally went away. Confix walked around in the room he woke up in, and was looking at the only object that didn't look like it belonged there. It was a chair, not the kind you have in the living room though. It was a chair of torture, electricity or spikes, you name it, it was that kind of chair. Made of ice cold steel, it had a shade of black, although most was covered in a murky grey-ish colour. Brown in some angles.
And then Confix looked around some more, and found a path..which had an end, he decided to walk over, but quickly enough did he walk into someone, or they walked into him. Both backed up, and then Confix got to see who he had met. It was an old lady, definitely not the same young girl he had met mere moments ago. The lady looked like..McGonagall yet no. Of course, he couldn't compare it to her, he didn't know of the Harry Potter Character, all he knew was that he was in space, and in a ship, and definitely not at home.
Then the dream changed.
I was me, with my parents and my sister, in a derpy UFO, the kind you see in Donald Duck. ovo
It was green, and we had to crash land into some planet as we ran out of fuel. So we entered a new planet--which was covered in snow, and was ice cold ;~;
We just had a casual conversation as we landed though, till I woke up.

Age: 15, soon 16, Mid July, 2014
4) Me, my friends TaiyoPrower and Giniqua were walking, a place filled with sandstone-made mountains. Coloured in different hues of red.
 We were walking on top of those, simply walking, and having the time of our life, when we find this giant rock. and so Taiyo and I poke the rock while Gini is more suspicious, all three of us knew that rock wasn't there 5 seconds ago, was just mountains and more mountain tops to walk on. Nothing happens first time, but I'm more stubborn and poke it again. Then the dream goes as if I had a flashback, although it wasn't my flashback, and ..it wasn't a flashback, more like an explanation. In a cartoon-like style;
The flashback show me of the first stories we hear from the christian religion, Adam and Eve in paradise, Adam getting tricked by the snake, and thus eats the apple, and later shares it with Eve. They then get thrown out of Paradise,
although in my dream they didn't get thrown out, they got chased out, chased by vicious flames, and they just ran and ran and hoped to get away from it, they didn't want to die. But Eve couldn't last, she got taken by the flames, as her legs failed her, and Adam was left alone, ran away, crying, questioning to himself "Why did I take that apple?"
He later reaches another garden. A garden that's dried out, yellow-to brown-ish grass, and a lot of sandstone. If you have seen the "new" movie that is inspirated from Noah's Ark, then imagine that the garden was filled with those golems, although they were sleeping, looking like weirdly shaped rocks. Some had their faces so they were see-able though, and it reminded me of The Iron Giant. And yes, they weren't fully rock and moss, they had iron faces, but the colour made it look like it belonged to these damned creatures.
One golem was awake, and saw the boy looking for somewhere to hide, the golem saw the flames and the smoke that was miles away. The golem walked over to the boy, lifted him up, and put him on the shoulder and started walking, just calmly walking, and speaking to the boy. Then, after days and nights of walking with no break, the golem reached a place with only sandstone mountains with a red hue everywhere, as if there had already been a fire here burning everything but the stones. He started plucking up the stones, and shaping them into a stone bed, so Adam could have somewhere to sleep comfortably. The golem knew, that behind him, there was water. The water was rapidly rising in level.
And so he put Adam into an eternal sleep in the bed, and put up a stone roof, making the bed waterproof.
Then the Golem went on top of the mountain they were standing on, and went to sleep. Barely weakening, but weakening the pressure nonetheless, so Adam's bed would endure the flood that was arriving.
And then,
The dream returned to me and my friends, poking the rock. After the second poke, the rock started moving. Opening itself, and out of the egg-like shape, came a giant golem. With a steel face, glowing blue in it's eyes, it looked at us,  and then looked over to it's right side, where water was emerging. He didn't question our presence, he walked over to another rock that had appeared. And opened it, inside was a boy with barely any clothes, he slowly woke up, and climbed up to the golem's shoulder rather quickly, then he took notice of the three strangers standing there, generally gaping at the giant golem, trying to process waht had happened in the previous 3 seconds. The boy had a mischievous smile as he understood what had caught our attention, and said "My name is Adam." , we greeted each other, and then we climbed up onto the golem aswell, the other shoulder though. The water had already reached our feet, and so the golem had to start walking, and so he did. We were halfway to a taller mountain, when Gini lost her grip, we tried to catch her, even Adam, and the Golem aswell, but we were all too slow,  and so she fell down, into the deep water, and it was as if the water did not allow her to swim after, she was dragged down into the depths by something, and all we then remembered was her screaming for help. Taiyo and I were sad about the loss of a precious friend, but the Golem would not allow us down with her or anything.
The water reached to our chin and the golem's mouth, but he could still see, and we were close to a mountain.
The golem started climbing. And soon the water was far beneath us, and we were on top of a taller mountain top, harder to breathe up there though, but not too hard. The water was withdrawing too. But we all knew it was to create a Tsunami, a Flood, thus so we were short on time. And so, The golem stood there before us, and opened his chest. There was a glowing light, and when we looked down into the golem, there was darkness, neverending, and Adam simply pushed Taiyo down into the neverending pit first, although we had all agreed on this, it was a surprise. So easily, --and before I could process much more, I got pushed down too, I could already feel the cool air of the water approaching, and then the eternal heat of blue flames burning me away into dust and then nothingness, and I knew, that Adam had flung himself down the pit aswell, and seconds after, the golem would be crushed, and destroyed.

THAT'S SUCH A LONG DREAM SOB.

is there more, is there more..hummm not at this exact moment... OH YEAH (Edit 30.7.14)

12 Years old..? Early 13 mayhaps.
5) I wake up, and everywhere all around me there's white...Y'know when Harry wakes up in movie no. 7part 2 after he meet Voldy, or in The Matrix, the loading screen?
'twas white, ethereal. Otherworldly kind of white aswell though, and, in the middle of all that whiteness, was a giant mountain. A mountain made of feathers, black feathers, and I lied on the top of those feathers. I was looking around, and the dream had such a sense of being calm. There was a calmness about it all, I didn't even stress at being high above ground, when just one feather out of place would of dragged me down to the bottom... or something like the bottom, because it was just as white as the rest of the dream..exception being the black feathers of course.
The only thing covering my body, feathers, it felt like a billion pillows yet not. And then, after feeling the calm atmosphere the dream brought for godknows how long, I wake up </3

About 13,but the year I became 14, soo..2012..? Or is my math failing me again?
6) I'm in a neighbourhood, and consciousness caught up with the dream by a tree, and I climbed up that tree. The tree was the kind you see in cartoons, when it's winter or halloween. No leaves, just creepy, but the dream happened a night in spring.
I climbed up the tree, which was placed close to a window, to a white house...or was it red? Even blue..I don't know, it was a house nonetheless. And When at the top, I look into a window. Inside I see a person by a laptop, and ...the person just sits there minding his own business, not even knowing of my presence, and then he walk toward a door in his room, and through it. And the dream changes.
It's a late spring day, or early summer, the grass is still green, and there's a blue sky, but honestly it doesn't mean much at the moment. All I knew at the moment was that me and a friend I had in the dream was being chased by unknown darkness. Similar darkness as in another dream I've written down here, but even that is far from close, this darkness was terrible, and scary...there are no words to explain, to describe it, it was ..terror, horror..Everything negative in one being or whatever it was.
We were running, we ran upwards, because the grass and where we were...some kind of meadow, some kind of hill, and when we got to the top, we were both out of breath, but we also had nowhere else to run, down beneath us were Sharp rocks poking from the water. So our choices were basically, if lucky, you'd get pierced by the rocks, if you're unlucky, you drown, or you got taken by the darkness. Neither of us wanted that last option, and so, with our final words, we flung ourselves down into our death.
My friend, got pierced, but the rock didn't catch his heart or head, more like ..the belly...and..yeah, blood loss.
I hit the water, which sounded a bit more lucky, yet not, the last thing I saw in the dream, was the blue colour that indicated that I was in water, got merged with a bloody red colour, before I woke up again.

uhm, age 10?
7) I woke up in a place similar to in the previous written dream. Although there was no water nearby, and I was running downwards, and without any company but my mind, yet I was still being chased by that terrible darkness. Yet this time, it caught me. I had been running for so long, and I had seen a building to hide in just then, but then I was taken by a rotten hand, eaten by insects, yet still moving, it reminded me of a dementor's hand from the HP series, of course I didn't think that as it got me though.
The dream changed, although I knew it was connected to that dream. I woke up in a room. A room with wall texture, similar to the texture of this journal skin, although there were also sheep in the texture. This colour, and then there was that one contrast. A dark brown door, and I knew I had to get out of where I was. So I walked toward the door. And no, it wasn't locked as in the games! I could open the door! It led to another room. With more doors. And so I kept opening doors, just to end up in another room, although, finally, after an eternity, I had found the exit. But before I got to get out of where I was....

I woke up!

NOW IS THERE MORE???..not at this exact moment @@
..even more!
(Edit 14:37, 5.8.14)

Age 15
8) A different dream I just had the 5th of August with two parts, the second is the one I enjoyed though;

The first part was as if I had joined someplace that looked like a military place, although It wasn't, apparently it was a new place for education. I was just unpacking and preparing for the lessons to come when the dream changed and I was in my room, and through my super tiny window came a bat.
The bat seemed very restless, it landed on my chair while I was sitting on top o' mi bed, and was just barely seeing it and a pattern on it's wings, and then it just started walking back and forth, flapping it's wings without flying, and then it jumped, and flew right onto me, wanted to hide, and so it went onto me shoulder and behind my neck, hidden by my hair from whatever it was hiding from. It didn't wanna fly back out either, and so it ended up in me taking care of it, not that I minded, took a while for the rest of the family to adapt though. Then I woke up, fell asleep, woke up, fell asleep, woke up @ 9 or 10 o'clock

..age 15
9) A dream I had a few months ago, in 2014 perhaps when It was june? VERY inspirated from two movies that are connected. Both named "Screamers". Where the base idea to the movies is that there are robotic creatures that got sharp weapons, their purpose is solely to kill, and they evolve to then get even more dangerous.(And yes, dad put on both movies so I blame him. :3) Although my dream said otherwise;

In third person view, I saw myself lying on the ground, and two other shapes approached my body that's just lying there. It was close to a village, yet as if it was taken from one of the western movies, it was sand and dust everywhere and barely any plants at all. The tallest of the two shapes lifted my body up and walked back to the village, with the lower one following.

I woke up in a room, made of wooden walls, wooden ceiling and wooden floor, a wooden bed with sheets, although I woke up by the leg of the bed, and beside me was the tallest shape, the one that had carried me, although I couldn't remember being carried. I had had my head on his lap while sleeping. In my sleep I had barely felt his exploring, his fingers tracing my neck and cheek, although the closer to waking up I was, the slower his movement, and right before I had woken up he had stopped, and then I opened my eyes to a set of dark brown eyes just looking at me.
When I was fully awake he just talked to me about anything, although I knew he wasn't human, it was hard to not believe so.
We had been talking for who knows how long when the door opened, and in came the shorter person, also male, black short hair, green-grey eyes. "Did I interrupt anything?"
"No, not at all! We were just talking is all."

The shorter one was simply called Butler, and that was his job in the village. Pleasing everyone else, although they couldn't be pleased without human meat, yet... no one even took a second glance at me, the only human there, and they were actually starving, even if it didn't seem like it.
Butler led me to a place of his own, a place where the taller didn't like being. But compared to everywhere else in the god-forsaken-place, there was colour here, it was a huge contrast to everywhere else. Flowers of every colour, and it wasn't sorted either, it was a giant meadow with only flowers, while I admired all of this, Butler was just watering the flowers. This picture, what I was a witness to, was so different from what I had thought before I had ended up there...in the dream.
Because in this dream I had "memories" of previous events that's supposed to have happened in the past in the same dream. I had ended up there because I had been thrown out of the group I originally was with.
I had been a burden, and then I was where I am now.

And while I was thinking back and admiring, this sound was entering my ears. It was so high-pitched, and it hurt, It felt like I was bleeding inside my head, and that it'd leak out in a flash soon, through my ears, when Butler pushed me to the side and stopped an earlier model of the "Screamers" from attacking me, there came more from the sides though. Butler told me to run, and I did as I was told, when the taller person appeared and deactivated most of them. Just later did I notice that I had been hurt by one of them, the right side was showing blood, height of my chest. I was hurt, and the wound was deep, but I didn't notice it till I was in the main building. Where apparently, there was medical equipment. They had to hurry though, I had already fallen unconscious. I woke up though.
Hours later in the dream, and I could breathe and walk like before, and so I walked deeper into the main building. And eventually found miself being in a huge shiny, but metallic room, lit up by lights, and in the middle of it, was the "Alpha".
Me and the Alpha talked for a while, then I was sent out, and I walked around in the village, walked back toward the flower meadow, or, the Butler preferred to call it a garden. When the tall one appeared, he grabbed me with inhuman speed and just held me close by. Eventually I had to get out of it though, and so he followed me to the garden.
After being so possessive all of a sudden though, he opened up a bit again, was his natural self, and just talked to me. When the Butler also appeared again. And he didn't seem too happy.

There was a flashback, me on an operation table. I was unconscious, and being worked on, I couldn't see what they did or who they were, if they were from my previous group or if they weren't.

And then, seeing from the taller one's view, the last sight of the dream...
Was me and Butler sitting beside each other, we were playing with something, walking around in the village, I was one of them, but I had lost interest in the taller one in the process,meanwhile the taller one was just tortured to see the Butler and Me together. Yet it was more like we were close friends than a couple or anything, we were just playing around in Butler's garden like tiny kids.
And so the Taller one just kept an eye out for the both of us till I finally woke up, back in my own world.


r dere more then..? @@ Not for now.


~Hope you had a nice read ovo~
:icontotoroplz:

© 2014 - 2024 Sjiria
Comments3
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Superstino1997's avatar
It's funny how the dreams get progressively more realistic the older you get. XD
And now that we're talking anyways, let me tell you something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time.

...Kiri, I do not need you anymore.
I'm way better than you, better than you'll ever be.
So please, get out of my sight!

Just kidding :P
You're great at writing, though!
You should try to write an actual story if you're having so much trouble drawing. :D